Mike Mayo and Biblical Sexuality - A Brief Summary

I think any time we have a shift in our beliefs, good or bad, it happens over time... it certainly doesn't occur after 3 days and watching a few videos.  I've always been a student of Christianity, learning, observing, considering my personal convictions.  From my childhood as the son of a pentecostal pastor and missionary to Ireland to today, I've always been a part of the Christian body and I always will be. 

I started to look into the issues surrounding homosexuality because I didn't feel I had a good grasp on how we minister to them.  I started looking at some blogs and there are many different Christian camps when it comes to homosexuality, none of which take the issue lightly or approach it as a decision made out of convenience.  What was really getting to me, wasn't the blogs themselves, but the comments section at the bottom.  I started to read some testimonies from some gay Christians, they touched my heart to the core.  I related to them in so many ways, their great appreciation for the hope they have in Christ, their desire to love others around them, even as they are being persecuted.  Included in these testimonies were stories of married gay Christians and the way they spoke about their love for their spouse was the exact same way I feel about my wife.  This was the catalyst for me. 

When I started to get a window into the life of the LGBT community, it started to become less and less about sex and more and more about love.  Remember, this isn't an isolated emotional experience for me, as I mentioned, many of the blogs and articles I had read spent a great deal of time interpreting the scripture and studying to reveal that it is in fact possible to hold the Bible as authoritative and still affirm homosexuality.  While there are obviously a great deal of Christians who reject this theology, but we have quite a few different theologies in the Christian church and I do believe we are called to “be convinced in our own minds”.  The group of people that would attack the faith of these Christian folks who support homosexuality tend to argue that this is a belief that bases truth on feelings and not on hard scripture.  But that is not true at all in my experience.  

One of the particular sections of scripture that I base my beliefs on is 1 Corinthians 7.  I find it a very insightful look into human sexuality.  Paul’s understanding of sexuality kind of blows my mind!  Look at how very clearly states that each person has a unique sexual drive.  Some are very weak and he recommends it better to perhaps remain single.  Some are very strong and Paul understands this desire becomes a burning, something consuming, something not conducive to living a balanced life.  He says, “it’s better to marry than to burn with passion”.  Paul humbly concedes, “If they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry.”  I’ll admit, I’m too weak to live a life of celibacy, it’s not my calling.  But is Paul saying marriage is solely an institution for the allowance of sexual relations?  I don’t believe so.  Our passions for our spouse are not solely sexual in nature.  We love their company, the way they treat other people, how they make us feel about ourselves, how they challenge us to be better versions of ourselves, how they might love and care for our children… there are so many qualities that draw us to have great passion for our spouses, I believe this is by God’s design.  On the flip side, as much as we love our spouses, they are imperfect.  They have bad days, they get angry, they say mean things, they are selfish just as we are. 

And the second aspect of God’s design for marriage in my understanding is sacrificial love.  We don’t only love our spouse for what they do for us; we love them to give us insight into how God loves us in our imperfect condition.  What great patience he has for us, as we struggle at times to love our spouse, we’re inspired by the great love of God to love even more than we ever thought possible.  The key here that I believe helped me to open my heart to the LGBT community is Paul’s assessment that we’re all different.  Created with different capabilities and needs when it comes to an intimate relationship.  I believe this is a core truth in understanding our brothers and sisters in Christ.  Paul clearly has a preference, for people to be like him… but he has this amazing love and compassion by not degrading those unable to live a celibate life, but to say, “Hey man, we all have different passions and if you need to be in a relationship to be a whole person, then go for it, it’s totally alright”.  He helps couples to understand that within a relationship, there may be sexual imbalance.  He makes it a point to instruct the couples to prioritize the sexual needs of their spouse.  Paul clearly understands the great need to have healthy ways for us to express our own unique sexuality.

This is a facebook comment, so you know I don’t have as much time as I’d like to spend analyzing every single verse in 1 Corinthians 7.  But it’s a treasure trove into human sexuality that I absolutely 100% do NOT feel excludes gay people.  As I apply this insight to all people, not just heterosexual, I understand that it’s important for us as following the biblical instructions to not put every gay person in the same box.  Having spent a great deal of time communicating with the Gay Christian community, you feel find Paul’s wisdom 100% accurate in what the gay Christian community looks like.  Some are very sexual, and some not so much.  Some of them have an extremely strong desire to marry, to commit, to love this one person for their whole life.  Some don’t desire that, and aren't comfortable with expressing their sexuality.  The worst thing we can do is ignore Paul’s message that each person has a unique sexual drive and lived out, this will look very different depending on the person.  Another critical point I would like to point out is Paul’s statement of sexuality doesn't give any “fixes”.  If you have a strong passion, he doesn't say, get some therapy.  He says, find a healthy outlet, an exclusive relationship/marriage, to express your passion.  Because of this Biblical understanding of sexuality, I don’t believe we can “fix” gay people or that God desires to.  Paul doesn't say in 1 Corinthians 7 to “pray that you might not be so obsessed with sex”.

Nowhere else, in the Bible have I seen such explanation of human sexuality as in 1 Corinthians 7, and the places homosexuality is specifically mentioned, I believe after great study and research, can be interpreted as something different than our definition today.  While I’m frequently accused of twisting these scriptures to fit my own opinion, that truly is not the case.  I never in my life chose to burn with passion.  I never in my life came to a point when I chose to be way too attracted to certain features of my wife… (insert inappropriate Wayne’s World reference)… A homosexual doesn't love the same sex because they desire to rebel against God, they never made a choice as I never made a choice.  I can expound for 10-20 thousand more words, very easily on why I affirm homosexuals scripturally, and over the course of the last few months, I probably have… lol… but the bottom line for me is 1 Corinthians 7 and my belief that intimate love in a marriage is one of the greatest gifts from God, I treasure it as much as I treasure my own children.  I do not believe there to be proper justification to block this gift from any human who has a great passion for it.  I chose to love and appreciate every person, no matter their sexual passions.  As a result of this, I’m often accused of being susceptible to having no standards at all because I don’t support homosexuality as a sin, that is the furthest thing from the truth.  There are insanely huge amounts of ways we not only damage ourselves, but others through sexuality.  Look at the church, how many children have been molested?  I do not support that at all, even though I support gay marriage.  Look at how many married women have had sexual relations with pastors?  I do not support this “passion” either.  Because the biggest misunderstanding is that because Paul said “passion” I’m talking about lust.  The truth of my belief is that the issue is about the fullness of intimate love, a fullness that cannot exist between a pedophile and a child nor a man and a goat.

God Bless.